Friday, November 5, 2010

Dont fear the reaper

Today's challenge, like most of them, seemed to come a day late for me. Yesterday I was at a friend's house and saw what can only be described as a prehistoric spider. I would have happily killed it, as would her husband, until she pointed out that if either of us touched it, she'd never be able to touch us again. C'est la vie. But I would have. Especially in the name of the science.

So when I awoke this morning to see what today's challenge was, I was eager to start. We are infested with gnats. well, infested sounds strong. Let's say that we're co-habitating with a small colony of gnats. Our rental sat empty for too long and the stupid bugs just keep coming up from the drains. So I tried to kill some of those. But those suckers are fast. I didn't get one. Shit balls.

While at work in my bomb shelter of an office, I looked for some type of bug. Nothing. I thought about killing the person in my office who keeps having mega blow-outs in my favorite toilet stall, leaving a shit stain on the seat and then fumigating the bathroom with flowery deodorizer spray, but I can't quite figure out who the mystery shitter is.I was beginning to feel like a failure. Desperation set in. A co-worker of mine suggested that rip up some paper and kill some trees and our supply budget. I put that in the pipe for later, determined to find something else.

Finally, at 4:30, I realized I HAD accomplished today's task. I totally killed my assistant's dream of leaving early on a Friday when I bombarded her at 4 p.m. with several urgent tasks. I didn't realize I had done it until her husband came to pick her up and said he'd been waiting in the car for 20 minutes. Ah well. Don't try to pull one over on me. I was looking to kill something today, even if it just was the dream of cheating the system.

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